Sundays; The Other End of The Spectrum

Bah, Sundays.

I know there are so many people that feel this way, but why do most of us hate Sundays? The sad truth is that most people aren’t truly happy in their job. This is also a very common feeling for those that are in a Monday-Friday job.

A couple of Fridays ago I wrote a blog post with regards to some of my anxieties and expectations of weekends. That rush of a ‘Friday feeling’ when I am running out of the door from work, looking forward to getting home but then finding, particularly if there isn’t much planned for the weekend, feeling a bit lost – not quite sure what to do with myself.

However, on the other end of the spectrum, once Sunday comes around my mood usually starts to dip slightly and I always think to myself: ‘I really cannot be bothered with work this coming week and I am not going to take next Friday for granted.’ This is of course a lie as when the next Friday comes around, I’m usually feeling the same feelings all over again.

I usually hate Sundays for the following two reasons:

• Housework: The flat is looking a little grimy and the clothes washing is starting to pile up but I usually try to procrastinate and tell myself I will do a room a day during the week, so that I don’t have to be in the position I am every Sunday. This is complete and utter bulls**t and I haven’t a clue why I do this every weekend.
• Bedtime: This has been a little bit of an anxiety for me for the last eighteen months, or so. As I begin work at 7:30am, and I have to walk to work, it means I have to drag myself out of bed at 5:30am. The waking up early matter isn’t an issue for me however, it’s the having the be asleep super early that is tricky. It means that on a Sunday I essentially sit and clock watch: ‘Nine hours until bedtime…five hours until bedtime…three hours…’ and I ultimately end up wasting time doing this obsessive, anxiety induced, activity. It then means that by the time I come to bed at around 9pm, I am freaking out at the idea of not sleeping – which results in me not getting to sleep. Ahhh bedtime brain.

I have spent many a Sunday endeavouring to focus on the above two points and ways to not feel the way that I feel as it’s never going to benefit me and I’m only going to continue to waste my time when I could be doing things I really enjoy doing. Like this. I really enjoy writing. Is it meta that I’m currently doing something that I like, whilst writing/discussing about the main points that tend to ruin my Sunday therefore doing the thing that I like? Ah, my brain is scrambled trying to figure that one out…

Are you in a Monday-Friday job and enjoy Sundays? If so, pleaseeeeeee impart some wisdom as I would love to try some things that may be of help. I’m also open to suggestions that don’t involve my arse leaving the couch however, probably best it involves some degree to physical movement…

Robyn ♥

That Friday Feeling; Friend or Foe?

That Friday feeling. When you work a Monday to Friday job there is usually nothing better than when the end of your work day on a Friday – which for me is 3:30pm – comes round and you are practically skipping out the door.

For the first time that week, everybody in the office is your best friend and you are singing ‘byeeeee’ as you leave and wishing everyone a good weekend – essentially the complete polar opposite to how you greet them on a Monday morning. I’m a bit smug on account that when I leave, a lot of staff are still working as they don’t finish until 5pm – gimme a break guys, I am in at the crack of dawn at 7:30am!

Whilst I so look forward to a Friday night, and the weekend in general, I can’t always say that my weekends are fulfilled. I do sometimes walk back into work on the Monday morning and think, “What the actual f**k did I do with my time off!?”. This was one of many matters I discussed with my therapist this year – the fact that when I do have time on my hands, I’m not utilising the time appropriately to do the things I, apparently, really enjoy doing. I guess old habits die hard when you have had bouts of depression where doing anything, even something considered enjoyable and fulfilling, can be tasking.

The easy thing about going to work is you have a job to do and, well if you don’t, you get fired – it’s as simple as that. There is no option for you to sit with your thoughts and hope that your day starts without you actually putting the work in. I actually find life outside of work more challenging, which is why I found I struggled more being at home when I was signed off work sick for a period several years ago. I have found that I can’t always be trusted to find my own sense of contentment.

Hopefully this is something that writing again can help with, give me some form of a sense of enjoyment and purpose as opposed to staring into space whilst being the potato on the couch wishing for something to happen.

Thankfully tonight I have my husband coming home with some alcoholic beverages and then I’m going to start the new The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Madan game that was just realised today by Supermassive Games. I have been so looking forward to this game coming out after playing Until Dawn around a year/two years ago. I must admit I’m not very good at these games, I think I managed to keep two of the six characters alive from the Until Dawn game which is hopefully not a reflection to how I would cope with a similar situation in real life…

I hope that whatever you are doing, whether it is working or at home, that you are having a great Friday!

Robyn ♥

 

Social Anxiety, Claustrophobia and The Most Wonderful Time In Edinburgh; The Fringe

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival; nearly every resident in Edinburgh’s worst nightmare. What’s worse, it lasts four whole weeks every year!

Some of you will know about the Fringe festival, heck some of you have likely visited Edinburgh to enjoy what the festival for the creative arts has to offer.

For me, it’s the one month out of the year where I really, really, wished that humans hibernated, but got to choose when to hibernate. I actually dread August and when it’s over, I want to take a nice long nap to recover.

I know some of you must be thinking “Miserable b*tch”. I probably am actually but, if you lived here, and you were someone like me, you would probably understand.

I suffer from social anxiety and claustrophobia, meaning that trying to walk down a busy street where there are street performers involving passers by can cause me to go into a bit of a spin. I’m practically running past them and, you probably guessed it, I never run. That in itself shows the dedication to get home to my comfy space of peace and quiet. You can’t eat anywhere, drink comfortably in pubs or bars…even getting the bus is a struggle.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that events like this are a dream come true for some of the creatives participating, it brings culture and tourism to Edinburgh and it also helps people, particularly students, get a temporary job which involves being around people and excitement and fun.

However, suffice it to say, I am extremely happy to be watching the boards and the posters which have, dare I say it, brightened up our city begin to come down.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, f**k off! 

I mean, would you want to walk home after a hard days work through this:

Photo credit Jane Barlow / PA – The Scotsman

So yes, that’s the festival over for another year and it will be my second year in a row that I didn’t attend a show or event. Kamen did, he went to an event that they have on at the National Museum of Scotland last Friday night. It’s a bit of a variety show where you can drink alcohol and also explore the museum – I would be off doing the two latter things and running away from the busy crowds, had I been there. Instead I ordered Dominos pizza, finished an illustration I was working on and watched too many videos of Brad Mondo’s hair fail reaction videos – which I highly recommend you watch, especially if you have worked in the hair industry.

A bit of a short and sweet post today but just really wanted to express my gratitude that the busiest month of the year for my hometown has come to another close.

Robyn ♥